Hide and Seek..... It's Not Just For Kids

I had a very fulfilling and fun weekend and boy am I grateful! I don’t take these times for granted.

I can remember a time when I actually dreaded the weekends. The weekends seemed to shine a floodlight on what I had lost, so I would hide. During the week it was easier to avoid feeling the pain of the death of a loved one as I could distract (aka busy) myself with work and volunteering which was also a form of hiding.

While I can enjoy weekends now, I am still keenly aware that there are many people out there that are experiencing what I did years ago. They are in the midst of life’s challenges of loss, addiction or depression. I also know that it may not just be the weekends that they are dreading.

It breaks my heart to know there is so much pain out there. That people are pretending to be ok and it is exhausting. 

They are struggling with the hopelessness that it will be this way for the rest of their lives. They don’t know how or what to do next.

They are overwhelmed and don’t want to be “found out”. So, they pretend.

And here is the challenge from getting help or looking to help someone… some people are really good at pretending. Pretending that they are okay. After all, we played “pretend” all through childhood and now we believe that’s just what we are suppose to do.

If this is you, there is hope and healing.

It’s time to reverse the roles and start seeking. Seek to talk to someone. Get help. It is never too late. You would be amazed at the power of saying things out loud to another person. You need to share your feelings with someone safe.

If you are in a season of “life is good”, Embrace it, enjoy it and celebrate!

But I would challenge you to look around at the people in your life. Do you know them? I mean really know what they are struggling with?

Hiding emotions is exhausting so maybe they are always tired, irritable, bitter or just avoiding people.

Just a couple ways to help:

  • Don’t assume things are good because their social media feed looks great.  Would you post the sad and ugly in your life for the world to see?

  • Be kind to those around you. If someone is being snarky or rude to you, don’t take it personally. Rather than assume its about you, give them the benefit of the doubt. Show grace.

  • Pay attention. Be aware of what is happening in the lives of the people you care about. If you know they are going through something difficult and they seem to be ok. Dig a little more. They may be hiding their struggle. Seek to understand.

At the end of day, we all have struggled with life events, are currently struggling, or will in the future struggle with loss. So why not stop ignoring this fact and be prepared to offer the help and kindness we desperately need for ourselves.

It will get better. But we have to come out of hiding and pretending in order to allow the healing to begin.